


All or None

by Wirewolf



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wirewolf/pseuds/Wirewolf
Summary: In one universe, Padme Amidala gives birth to twins. They grow up under the eyes of Jedi Masters and Royalty. During the long watchful years, Obi-wan Kenobi learns the ways of the Force, it softens his edges and weathers his pain. He is what the Jedi of Old strived for in their Path of Light. The children grow up. They bring the Light back into the Galaxy. Balance is restored.
This is not that universe.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bertie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertie/gifts).



In one universe, Padme Amidala gives birth to twins. They grow up under the eyes of Jedi Masters and Royalty. During the long watchful years Obi-wan Kenobi learns the ways of the Force, it softens his edges and weathers his pain. He is what the Jedi of Old strived for in their Path of Light. The children grow up. They bring the Light back into the Galaxy. Balance is restored.

In another universe, Padme’s Children die with her, in shock and to small to survive, they pass into the force with their entire world. Yoda never makes it to Bail Organa's ship.The turmoil in the force, the swell of the Darkside makes Sidious too strong and Yoda, beloved teacher of all younglings, joins his students in the Force. 

Obi-wan Kenobi is left behind. 

With nothing to make him wait, no son of his brother to guard, he joins the fledgling alliance, offering his services as General and bait. For Darth Vader now walks the Galaxy. And no amount of cybernetics and vocoders will disguise Anakin Skywalker from his brother. 

There is no time for meditation. No time to gather himself and sooth himself in the force. They are hunted, and the number of Jedi that remain are falling everyday. 

He feels it when Iita Sratic, 15, a Padawan, is shot in the back after stealing bread. She hadn’t eaten in three days and she was so hungry. She used the Force to take a loaf, small and burnt from the back but hunger had made her sloppy. Stormtroopers were called, and she dies with the loaf in her hand.

She is not the first, nor is she the last. But her death resonates through the force like the others ,reaching all that still scrape out an existence. Reaching Obi-wan.  
~  
Only 2 years later, the force once again bends and shakes.

Men are dying, good men, his men. The Chips in their heads are finally failing, two years to late. Cody is a bright flare and then gone. Boil is soon after him. More that half the remaining 212th suicide on the first few days of the Awakening of the Clones.

By the end of the month, clone stormtroopers are an endangered species and ex-clone stormtroopers are almost unheard of. 

Not all die because of the death of their Jedi. They had betrayed the very core of their being. Those brave, loyal men had destroyed the very Republic they had sworn to protect. 

Obi-wan knew how they felt.  
~  
It has been 5 years.

Darth Vader has found the escaped younglings. Obi-wan had done everything to drawn him away. Appearing in Imperial planets, dancing closer to military bases, but Vader could not be drawn away, not even for his old Master. 

They fall like their friends, their brothers and sisters had 5 years previous. They fight. They fight so hard to survive, for the right to live but it is not enough. The oldest tricks those young enough to be take to the Imperial centre into drinking poison. There will be no torture, no Darkside for them. They fall asleep among those that love them and torn out their hearts to protect them. Those too old are cut down, but as they lay there dying they are treated to Vader's enraged shout at finding only ashes where he had been sent to find students. 

Obi-wan feels all of this. He feels the Oldest, a Padawan that would have been a Knight, face Darth Vader. He feels as the children slip into the embrace of the Force. He feels as a girl of 14 is bisected by his student.

He bares the pain and tries to lose himself in the Rebellion.

It does not work.  
~  
It is 10 years.

His Grand Padawan has just died. Killed by her ex-master, fighting him as a Temple came down around them. She fought to her last breath, ever bright and defiant. He thought he had already reached the bottom, but the rage, the rage he had felt in that moment. It had coursed through his body like a flame.

He had not felt so alive in a decade.

It was horrific. 

When he looked back on it, that was when the thinned wall, worn by so many other deaths, had torn. The Force took the anger and swallowed it whole. It wasn’t released, but consumed. It is scary in its ease. The emotion was completely gone.

It was a relief.

He wishes it wasn’t.  
~  
It is 15 years now.

The lights are all gone, bar one. He is the Last Jedi, aged before his time. His best friend has just died. He should feel pain, but the vacuum that has grown where the core of his being should be just takes the emotions away. 

His love has been burnt of of him. His empathy, his compassion. But with them went his pain and fear and anger. Nothing can touch him anymore. He is Detached.

He is everything the Jedi of the Republic strove to be, no attachments, emotionless. He can’t feel anything anymore and he no longer has the capacity to care. 

He still works with the Rebellion. More from habit than anything else.

He has gotten slower, but then so has Vader. 

But he can feel in the Force that the end of his time is near.

It is a relief. 

All he can feel anymore is tired, both in mind and body.

The Rebellion finds the uncompleted Death Star. The Emperor and Darth Vader are visiting.

In another time, in another place, Obi-wan confronts his student, talks to him, sees him one more time before the mantle of responsibility is passed onto a young farm boy to bring the Sith Lord back to the Light.

But there is no confrontation here. He takes a starship, packs it with explosives and flies into the core of the Space Station. 

The Death Star implodes, Anakin Skywalker never gets his redemption. 

And Obi-wan Kenobi, the Last Jedi, can finally rest.

BEFORE

Obi-wan Kenobi, ex-initiate on a ship headed to Bandomeer, wakes up and feels nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any mistakes let me know, my tenses are probably all over the place. I hammered this out in a hour at 3 in the morning. Also shout out to markwatnae on tumblr, who made me have sad Obi feels, which triggered me into writing more sad obi feels.


End file.
